marcceh-deactivated20181109:

• who’s the werewolf and who’s the hunter

Jim’s a werewolf except Mycroft’s like the king or something and he orders people to catch the beast that’s been terrorizing the villagers and then they bring him this crate but the knights all look really weirded out because when they open it up there is an unconscious man inside and they could’ve sworn it was a giant fuzzy thing with teeth that tore out one of their guy’s throat. so now Mycroft has Jim in a cage what

• who’s the mermaid and who’s the fisherman

I HAVE BEEN WANTING TO WRITE A JIMCROFT MERMAID AU FOR A WEEK OK and I’m probably not gonna do it so I might as well post this here.
k so. Dr. Moriarty owns this bioengineering firm and people let him do what he wants because he caught this immortal deep sea squid once and is on the verge of some breakthrough where they can engineer fast working self-repairing tissue. but instead of like, finding more squid or whatever he spends all his time chasing down Sherlock the mermaid who he has SEEN with his EYES a dozen times but can’t catch. Mycroft is Not Happy with his reckless younger brother and has been trying to get him to not go so close to the top fo rmonths. Jim builds some smart particle net thing and on some day Mycroft and Sherlock have a fight and Mycroft goes after Sherlock, Jim deploys the net mechanism and catches Mycroft instead.
LONG STORY SHORT Jim takes Mycroft back to the lab to study him and at some point starts thinking Is It Weird I Want to Bone This Fish. Mycroft thinks ok maybe if he gets in the water I should drown him, except then he doesn’t. And they’re both like super confused. and then fish sex. And then the Board Members start harping on Jim for not delivering on these cells and Jim gets paranoid and orders hits on anyone even remotely related to transporting the mermaid so he can be sure no one knows about Mycroft, and then they like elope or something idk this is going to get long I have to stop

• who’s the witch and who’s the familiar

familiar!Jim is a cat who has watched his Mycroft go through a series of laughably terrible dates over the years until he starts dating John and like really likes him and suddenly Jim is like This Is Not Okay and finds a way (Sherlock???) to get himself turned into a person so he can steal Mycroft back. except being a person SUCKS and Jim is like lol why do people do this I can’t wait to turn back into a cat, I’ve already romanced Mycroft and he’s broken it off with John so mission accomplished. And according to the spell/potion/whatever there’s a time limit if he wants to change his mind and not make the change permanent, except then Mycroft asks him out and Jim is like ugh. oh man. if I change now I’ll stand him up and then he is going to be SO SAD. and normally sad Mycroft is great because get to stay in and I get cuddles while he rants about the dumb guys he’s no longer seeing. BUT I’LL BE THE ONE WHO MADE HIM SAD AND I CAN’T DO THAT. so he doesn’t do that. if he ever has to explain what happened to Mycroft’s cat it’s gonna be awkward.

• who’s the barista and who’s the coffee addict

I tried to write this once and it turned into something else entirely lmao. I like the idea of Mycroft coming in at weird hours while Jim creepily observes his odd hours and habits

• who’s the professor and who’s the TA

Professor Moriarty is this super tempermental genius and his TA’s never last but Mycroft is weirdly stoic and nonchalant about everything and Jim thinks it’s weird that this kid hasn’t cried and run off yet but obviously this devolves into him getting weirdly obsessed and then office sex happens

• who’s the knight and who’s the prince(ss)

this could go so many ways asjdlajdska so. many. ways. hmm, let’s see – Jim is a prince who disguises himself as a knight on some delegation to the Holmes’s kingdom where Mycroft, as part of his duties as the firstborn, is also head of the armed forces or whatnot, which means Jim spends a lot of time trying to keep Mycroft from getting a face meeting with the foreign prince, during which he’s trying his darnedest to seduce Mycroft

• who’s the teacher and who’s the single parent

lmao is this au where it’s richard book instead. he reads books to kids in the school library. sherlock is a little terror and thanks to his experiments worms made their way into everyone’s lunches. Mycroft is Tired. Jim thinks it’s adorable.

• who’s the writer and who’s the editor

Jim Moriarty’s been ghostwriting for The bestselling thriller/mystery writer for like their last 20 books but what he really wants to do is write surreal existential novels about the human condition and he tries – he works on that damn novel every single day while staring at the red-inked post it note he got from an editor he submitted the first version of the book to several years ago. Mycroft “Iceman” Holmes told him mean things about his book one time, and now instead of writing this waffley dreams-driven book of his he spends all his “novel” time dreaming up revenge fantasies where he becomes successful and Mycroft is in tears and apologizes about how humiliated he is he ever thought Jim was a second rate writer who is only capable of churning out mechanical pulp fiction. it doesn’t help that sometimes he sees Mycroft at like, book launch events. and the revenge fantasies get more elaborate and intertwined with the thrillers he’s ghostwriting and suddenly they’re both spies and then whoa why is he having an affair with him if one of them is going to kill the other and oh my god now he’s having sex dreams about Mycroft Holmes

send me a ship