warmheartworm:

tumblr sucked yet its the only thing people like us could ever have posted on. tumblr was a deep sea geothermal vent and we are all pallid, desperate crabs snapping at the dark toxcic nutrients spweing from its hole, and bringing us into the harsh light of the instagram influencersphere would kill us instantly. 

toomanylokifeels:

shaylogic:

shaylogic:

Bb MCU Loki: *scrapes knee* mom why is my blood blue

Frigga, super Done and staying out of it: ask your father

Loki: dad, why do I have blue blood?

Odin, sweating: because you’re royalty, of course

Thor: *scrapes elbow* dad, i’m royalty, too, right? Why’s my blood red?

Odin, sweating bullets: you’re adopted

Odin panicking and telling Thor he’s the adopted one instead is peak comedy.

episkeyss:

 He has the tidiest and most orderly brain, with the greatest capacity for storing facts, of any man living. The same great powers which I have turned to the detection of crime he has used for this particular business. The conclusions of every department are passed to him, and he is the central exchange, the clearinghouse, which makes out the balance. All other men are specialists, but his specialism is omniscience.