I’ve spent some time wondering at Dumbeldore’s rational for hiring Gilderoy Lockhart and I’ve reached the following conclusion.
When Dumbledore met Lockhart, all he thought was “Oh, this is going to be hilarious.”
I always got the vibe that Dumbledore was like, “there is no possible way for this man to be a Death Eater,” and hired him on the spot.
I like the idea of Dumbledore overcorrecting all the time.
First professor was a death eater? Lets get one who definitely isn’t. That one was an egoistical jerkface? I’ll hire literally the most humble and unassuming human on Earth. Lupin got kicked out by a bunch of parents? Lets go for a man who is incapable of taking any shit from anyone…. etc.
So Gilderoy Lockhart is the new defense teacher? Okay.
So then we just happen to see Lucius lurking around Flourish and Blotts during Lockhart’s book signing. Coincidence? I think not. He was there to see ol gildy 😉
Lucius was wearing his usual Malfoy mask, not letting his feeling show, but on the inside he was bursting with excitement: Gilderoy Lockhart was signing books at Flourish and Blotts (EEEEEEEEEEHHHK!!!)
‘Such a smart, brave, handsome man,’ Lucius thought to himself. He needed an autograph, he just did.
So Lucius went to the book signing and when he entered the store… there he was, wavy hair, a smile that could melt an iceberg in two seconds and those beautiful twinkling eyes.
Lucius tightened his grip on his cane and bit his lips to stop himself from squealing because Malfoy’s don’t flail.
And then, suddenly, he saw his pratty little son trying to get the attention of that Potter boy. That just wouldn’t do. He walked toward them to exchange a few words (and maybe a leave a literary option in the Weasley girl’s shopping bag) and in less than five seconds Arthur Weasley was punching him in the face –that savage brute!– andall hell broke lose and Gilderoy Lockhart was watching!
Oh the SHAME!! WHAT WOULD MR. LOCKHART THINK ABOUT HIM?
So he exited the place as elegantly as he could manage (split lip and all) took Draco’s arm and Apparated back to the Manor.
“DOBBY! I HAVE IMPORTANT BUSINESS TO ATTEND IN MY STUDY. DO NOT INTERRUPT ME!”
And he shut the door closed with so much force one of his expensive marvel vases fell on the floor, and poor Lucius ran to his desk and cried and cried with his head on his arms.
After a few minutes an owl tapped his window. Lucius stood, eyes red and puffy, and let the owl in and took the parchment from its leg.
Hello, dear Mr. Malfoy, sir:
You forgot your copy of my biography “Magical Me” so I took the liberty to send it to you, and don’t you worry, it’s signed with a special inscription just for you.
Sincerely,
Gilderoy Lockhart.
Order of Merlin, Third Class; Honourary Member of the Dark Force Defence League; and five-time winner of Witch Weekly’s Most Charming Smile Award.“
I have not actually delved into Potterlock as much as I could have, but honestly I think crossing over any fandom with HP is a good time. And while I enjoy a student!Potterlock crossover as much as the next fan, might I submit for consideration: professor!Potterlock.
Like. Professor Holmes. Not Head of any House, because he can’t be bothered. Such a master of herbology that he wrote a 2000-page tome in the library about different varieties of soil. Can tell you every one of the 16 ingredients in a potion by sniffing it for half a second. Mostly just took the job so he can have access to the greenhouse and potions dungeon and library. Never seems particularly interested in whatever the students are doing, but the older students know that even when he doesn’t seem to be paying attention, he notices everything. If anyone messes with his research or pisses him off, he will verbally come for their entire life.
And Professor Moriarty, who is maybe the Arithmancy professor or maybe the Astronomy professor or maybe both, why not. No one ever nods off in his class, partly because his teaching style is animated, going from Very Quiet to Very Loud in 0.00002 seconds. Head of his House, perfectly fair with awarding and taking away House Points, but has a reputation of being scary because it’s hard to know where anyone stands with him. Most students are pretty sure he’s hidden a body at some point in his life. Many students think he’s sexy anyway. Rumors abound.
The possibilities are endless. Professor Hudson, Divinations. Professor Watson and Professor Watson, Defense Against the Dark Arts and Flying Instructor. Professor Adler, Charms. Professor Hooper, IDK but she’s in this too. Headmaster Holmes.
I am of course not submitting any of these as law, but it sure is a fun idea to play with, and I’m open to additions! 🙂 Thanks for the ask!
Okay but consider this:
Professor Holmes is actually a muggle who deduced the existence of the wizarding world. And he uses his intelligence and skill to fake magical ability and convince everyone he’s a wizard.
He has everyone at Hogwarts fooled.
Anthea ships Mycroft with Molly and Anderson ships Mycroft with Jim.
Y’all ever not really ship a couple from a fandom, but then a blog you follow is crazy for them and you get dragged under until you’re trash for that ship too?
problematicjustbecause 