marcceh:

au where irene brokers a deal between mycroft and moriarty pre-series, because if mycroft wants to become The government, he needs to keep his brother occupied somehow. he provides suggestions, general guidance, and even a backstory – including the shoes – but it gets out of hand when bombs start going off. irene’s timely call at the pool is a warning to jim to stick to what the client ordered but by then both irene and mycroft know the relationship’s soured

mycroft tries to set sherlock on irene’s scent, as a warning. but then she calls in jim for backup, and things go very poorly for mycroft. irene knows she needs to get the hell out of dodge now, because jim and sherlock are going to do something stupid where one or both of them dies, and then mycroft’s going to have her head

No but also John’s-been-working-for-Mycroft-the-whole-time, like Mycroft’s number one concern is keeping him occupied because that’s the one thing keeping Mycroft from achieving total world domination.

ll-again:

marcceh:

so jim’s committing crimes left and right and has been arrested more than once and put into mycroft’s custody before being released because there’s nothing they can charge him with and then mycroft finally calls and asks if he’s free and it’s literally on christmas to a private island so just hops on a heli no questions asked—and it turns it’s just this thing for his sister and he’s like 9000% done 

Jim sits Mycroft down all: “Look I know I said I was into kink, but I am sooo not into having a threesome with your sister, dude wtf.”

Mycroft: “sorry wat”

Jim: “THAT IS THE SORT OF THING YOU ASK ABOUT BEFOREHAND MYCROFT”

Mycroft: “I didn’t… wat?”

Jim: “I should have never let you put me in handcuffs without doing a kink checklist.” *whips out a packet of paper* “From now on, we are doing this RIGHT.”

Mycroft: “doing wat”

Jim: “Our relationship Mycroft do keep up.” *produces a glitter gel pen and starts filling out the packet* “Right. Put me down for a giant NO on threesomes with your sister…”

Mycroft: “wat? relationship??”

Jim: “…and a giant M~A~Y~B~E on threesomes with your brother…”

Mycroft: *faints*