marcceh:

marcceh:

Sherlock gets turned into a vampire over the weekend and takes it all in stride. He swipes John’s gun and then shoots himself in the hand, then watches the wound stitch up again.

“…cool.”

He swans into St. Barts and charms his way into getting a bunch of blood bags, and uses John’s Amazon Prime to order a giant freezer for their flat. He labels it EXPERIMENTS with a little doodle of eyeballs and dismembered toes, and John doesn’t bother ever opening it.

Monday comes around and Sherlock smells a murder so he and John pitter patter their way over, with Sherlock wearing shades and carrying a big 30 ounce plastic cup of what looks like red goop, which he drinks through a straw. It’s kinda weird, even for Sherlock.

“What are you drinking?” John asks.

“A milkshake,” Sherlock says. “It brings all the boys to the yard. Oh, there’s Gavin. See, it works.”

“Um.”

Greg thinks it’s sketchy that Sherlock showed up to the crime scene before he did but eh, that’s Sherlock for you.

John thinks it’s weird, even for Sherlock, that he’s started taking to slathering his  face with sunblock and wearing giant shades whenever he goes out. 

Sherlock just tsks at him with a very disappointed look when he asks, jokingly, whether he’s afraid of the sun now.

“Of course, John, you’re a doctor. Surely you must know what skin cancer is?”

Skin cancer? he mouths to Molly as Sherlock sweeps across the lab in his patented swooshy way. Since when the hell was Sherlock even remotely health conscious?

Molly just shrugs. “Must be for a case. Or maybe it’s hereditary!”

She leans in conspiratorially, looking both ways to check the coast is clear despite the fact that the lab is empty now that Sherlock’s gone, but John leans in anyway.

“I heard a rumor that Mycroft’s actually a ginger,” Molly whispers. 

“It’s why he always has an umbrella with him, not for the rain, but the sun. Maybe Sherlock’s found” – her voice lowers to a barely audible pitch here – “freckles.”

“Freckles?” John’s voice jarringly loud in the empty lab, in sharp contrast to Molly’s whisper. 

But the more he thinks about it, the more sense it makes.

“Well, he is a bit vain.”

marchetc:

Sherlock: 20 years ago I got fooled very badly by The Sixth Sense. I swore I’d never let my guard down again and have since assumed every character in every movie is DEAD unless told otherwise.

John: That…that doesn’t seem very enjoyable.

Sherlock: I refuse to be humiliated a second time.